I remember the first time it was said to me, “Just focus on raising your babies right now. Enjoy your time with them. There is plenty of time to do this later.” It was like nails on a chalk board. What do you mean….WAIT…..I can’t do that! My young twenty-something self scoffed at it. Didn’t they know I was going to BE someone with this gift? Didn’t they know I had places to go, people to talk to?!? You can fill in the rest with just about any egotistical statement you’d like because that is exactly where I was coming from: my underdeveloped, raging ego.
I don’t think this is particularly unusual on both fronts: being a young twenty something and the beginning one’s Mediumistic journey. While I did have a level of humility, I had zero understanding of why someone would actually take mediumship under their belt and of the massive journey life was about to take me on. In short…IT LEVELED ME.
I thought, at the time of twenty-three that I had it pretty figured out. I was a mom of two after all, I was already married after all, what MORE could I possibly have to experience or learn? What did I NOT already know that could help me, help clients?
The answer is EVERYTHING. I had EVERYTHING left to experience, EVERYTHING left to learn, EVERYTHING to say that I didn’t have the life experience or personal growth to be aiding clients. YES, I could communicate with the Spirit World and bring through evidence of survival BUT THAT ISN’T EVERYTHING that a Medium needs to be able to accomplish in order to serve the Spirit World and to serve the public.
The next handful of years would take me through a divorce, a highly abusive relationship with a man that I thought radiated “spirituality”, a traumatic attack that afterwards left me fighting for mental and emotional stability and a RISE to self love, humility, personal growth, and a deep understanding that what I had chosen to embrace about myself, in the end actually has NOTHING to do with me and that my expression of that ability has everything to do with my attitude, tamed ego and LIFE EXPERIENCES that make me an unbiased voice for the Spirit World.
You see, if we are still holding on to our gift somehow making us better than, more than, or special, we dramatically STUNT our ability to communicate not only with our clients but the Spirit Communicator that has made all the effort to collaborate in the communication. It is NOT about how awesome we think mediumship makes us…its about LIVING, LOVING, and RECONNECTION…and we are just the translator helping to bridge the gap. We have to stop believing our ego, and learn to tame it in order to do this work. We have to stop projecting that our gifts somehow automatically ordain us to be a savor to the masses. Honey, the only thing this gift does is give you permission to find the REAL you, the one that can actually be of service, the one ready to accept the challenge of looking inward at all your flaws, forgiving your ignorance, and becoming who you are truly meant to be. That vessel of unbiased love, that vessel of a beautifully flawed existence that you can boldly still find joy in. You are here to shine bright enough that others remember they can do the same.